Fire and Rain
by Neko Majin
Summary: CH. 4 UP! [COMPLETE] FMA continuum song-fic. Alphonse Elric’s body was restored, but at a high price. Can he come to terms with the sacrifice that was made? Be warned, it's a sob story...
1. Broken World

**Summary:** FMA continuum song-fic. Alphonse Elric's body was restored, but at a high price. Can he come to terms with the sacrifice that was made? This will be a sob story, so get out yer tissues...

**Rating:** PG for angst, grief, mild language

**A/N:** This is one of my sadder fanfics; you have been warned. By the way, in the first section of the lyrics, I've changed "Susan, the plans they made...etc." to "It seems the plans you made...etc." Otherwise, the lyrics pretty much stay true to the original song.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist or James Taylor (I used the lyrics from his song, "Fire and Rain" in this fanfic) Now, onto the fanfic! And remember to R&R!

_  
Just yesterday morning they let me know you were gone  
__Seems that the plans you made put an end to you  
__I walked out this morning and I wrote down this song  
__I just can't remember who to send it to___

"Alphonse? Are you awake? Hey, Al, wake up!"

I opened my eyes. It felt strange to suddenly have the sensation of being able to move my face. I blinked a few times before the face of Winry Rockbell swam into my view.

"Oh, good, you're awake," se said, with a small smile. "The transmutation must have succeeded after all." Her blue eyes averted my gaze. _She's probably just shy to see me restored_, I thought, rubbing the back of my head. I'd almost forgotten what it felt like to have hair. How many years had it been—six? seven?—since I'd had my body? And now I did, thanks to my brother. I didn't know how I'd thank him.

I looked around the hospital room I was in. There was a bed on either side of me, and I looked to each one hopefully, trying to see if Ed was in one of them. I'd seen him sink to the ground while the transmutation was taking place: in fact, that was the last thing I remembered before waking up just now. I sighed now; Ed wasn't in one of the beds. _Perhaps he's already recuperated. Yes, that must be it,_ I thought.

"Winry-chan, what time is it?" I asked as I tried to sit up in bed.

"Ah-ah, the doctor said you shouldn't sit up," she said gently, fluffing up my pillows. "He doesn't want you hurting your body or any of your organs, although it looks like you're good as new. While you were sleeping, the doctors ran a few tests on you. But, what was the question you'd asked me before that?"

I asked about the time again.

"Oh, yes," Winry looked at her wristwatch. "It's ten-thirty in the morning."

"How many days have I been at the hospital?"

"A little over three days, I think," replied Winry. I gave a start. I'd been down that long? "You kept drifting in and out of consciousness," Winry continued, "though the doctors were sure you'd slip into a coma. You kept asking for your mom...well, you asked for all of us, really, but mostly, you asked for your mom...and Ed..." her voice trailed off. Suddenly, Winry looked uncomfortable. She fidgeted with her hair, twisting it around her fingers. "Hey, you must be really hungry. Want something to eat?"

"Yeah, sounds good. It'll be great to finally be able to eat something," I said. It was weird, to suddenly feel hungry after many years of not needing to eat. "Can you call _oniisan _over? I want to share my first meal with him." I smiled. Ed would be so happy to see me eating again. I remembered all the times he felt guilty that I couldn't do one of the most basic, human things.

Winry stared unblinkingly at me. "Al...I'm afraid Ed won't be able to eat with you."

"Oh, is he sleeping? Did something happen to him?"

Winry looked as though she was having a hard time deciding what to say. "Al..." she began, then paused, and then ran out of the room. I was confused. What was going on?

Moments later, Winry walked back into the room, and this time she was not alone. Roy, Riza, Armstrong, and the other alchemists from Central were with her, as well as Granny Pinako and Izumi. Ed was not with them, though.

"I...I didn't want to be the one to break it to you," said Winry softly. She sniffed a little as tears fell from her eyes.

"What's wrong?!" I asked again. "Where's Ed?"

Izumi pushed her way through the crowd and sat at the edge of my bed. "Alphonse-kun, I'm sorry...Edward...is gone."

I looked up at her. Had I understood her? I suddenly felt a sense of foreboding. "Sensei, what are you talking about? _Niisan_ is alive, he must be! I saw him just before I was restored! He's—he can't have—I mean—"

"Edward gave up his body to restore yours. He wanted the transmutation to be complete; he didn't want you to have any artificial limbs. It was the only way, and no one was going to stop him from doing it." Roy spoke now. His eyes were red and he looked weary. "He kept that information away from you, Al..." Roy's voice cracked, "because...he cared about you...that much. He didn't want to give up his body, but...as he tried to perform human transmutation, he knew that what he had wasn't enough. And he sacrificed his life for yours." Tears were trickling down Roy's cheeks. "I'm sorry, Alphonse. He's dead."

More to come!


	2. Broken Promises

**A/N:** Many thanks to all who reviewed Chapter One! Just to let you-all know, in this fic Al is seventeen; Ed would've been eighteen. (I know, in the manga Al is 14 and Ed is 15, but this is post-FMA ') 'Kay, that's all for now, onto Chapter Two!

**Disclaimer:** I don't own naught related to FMA :P

**Chapter Two: Broken Promises**  
  
_[Won't you look down upon me, Jesus  
__You've got to help me make a stand  
__You've just got to see me through another day  
__My body's aching and my time is at hand  
__And I won't make it any other way]_

"It can't be!" I felt the word explode from inside of me. I felt dizzy, even though I was lying in bed. "He could have transmuted his soul..."I checked myself, "...no, he couldn't, but then, he just can't be dead, he—"I broke off. "Please tell me this isn't true. Say this is some sick joke or something! I don't want it to be true!" I could feel tears coming into my eyes. I looked up at Roy and the others, and felt as though I had been ripped in half. "It can't be true, it just can't—"I suddenly found myself gasping for air.

"Alphonse, come to grips with yourself, it's the truth," said Riza sharply. Then, in a calmer voice, she added, "I feel as sad as you do right now, but put it in perspective for a moment. Please calm down."

I glared up at her. "_Calm down_?" I spat, "what's there to calm down about?!" Yeah, I'm sure it's easy for you to say it, but you're not the one who just lost a brother! What the hell do you know about death? Have you lost the one person in the world you're closest to?!" Tears fell unchecked from my eyes, but I didn't care. I sat up and tried to lift myself out of the bed. I couldn't believe I'd allowed myself to be shackled to it while my brother, my best friend, gave up his life. Suddenly, everything seemed unreal. It was like a nightmare, and I just wanted to wake up from it.

"Stop, Al! Don't make any sudden movements, or you'll hurt your body!"

"To hell with my body!" I roared. "_Niisan_ is dead, and it's all because I wanted us to restore our bodies!"

"Al, listen to me!" yelled Winry. "Edward made the decision, you didn't have anything to do with it—"

"THAT'S NOT TRUE!"

From out of nowhere, I felt a needle being injected into my left arm. I heard a familiar voice behind me; Armstrong's voice. "I'm sorry, Alphonse, but Roy gave me the order to give you this sedative. Please calm down, if you know what's in your best interest." I tried to fight off the fast-acting sedative that was now seeping into my body, but it was useless. My mind began to grow foggy and my eyelids were quickly closing. I tried to speak, but I couldn't even make any noise. _It's my fault. My fault Oniisan is dead._ Those were my last thoughts before I fell into a dreamless sleep.

* * *

_Where am I? Why...am I here? Where...is...Ed...ED!!!_

My eyes snapped open. My eyes met with complete darkness, and I panicked. Then I realized there was a small light on one of the walls. I blinked a few times, and I could see it was a nightlight. As I looked around the dimly-lit room, everything came back to me: the transmutation, the hospital, Ed...At the memory of my older brother, I felt a whimper rise in my throat. My last thoughts before I'd been put down with the sedative: _'It's my fault Oniisan is dead."_ Cold sweat tricked down my neck and back. It was true. I remembered encouraging Ed to pursue the Philosopher's Stone in the hopes that we could restore our bodies. This time around, we were certain we'd found the true Philosopher's Stone, and we' yanked it from the very hands of the Sins, that notorious band of homunculi. It was a fluke, if the transmutation had, once again, failed. Ed, who had gained knowledge of the true nature of things, lost it all for me. And yet I felt unworthy and unclean.

I knew I couldn't stay here in the hospital. What were the doctors going to do with me, anyway? Would the military treat me as some type of experiment, and examine me as a "perfect example of a restored body?" The idea of becoming a human guinea pig was sickening. I had to leave, but how? Then, as I looked towards the window, I had a memory of one time before when Ed and I had to escape without anyone noticing...

About a half-hour later I sat on a bench in the park across from the hospital in the cold blue light of dawn. It must have been about 5 in the morning, but already the sky was growing lighter. I shivered a little in the cool autumn air, another sensation which was new and unexpected to me. It hurt, somehow, to be able to do all the things I'd been unable to do for the past seven years. Maybe it was because Ed wasn't there.

I thought about what he might say about my escape from the hospital. I'd opened a window in the ward I was in and snuck out down the fire escape, like Ed and I had done once before when we slipped out of Central to investigate the fifth warehouse, where a Philosopher's Stone had been created. Likely, _Niisan_ would just shrug his shoulders and say, "They just never learn, not locking the windows like that." Then he'd smirk and say, "Of course, you never really can trap an alchemist..."

I sighed, watching as my breath formed a cloud. Maybe it was part of being restored to my body, but I hurt like hell. I knew I couldn't stand in the park shivering; I had to move out of Central and fast. I didn't have any money, but all I wanted to do was go back home...or as close to home as I possibly could. I wanted to be away from everyone. _Guess I'll just have to walk, or else hitchhike,_ I thought. I turned and walked out of the park, away from the hospital.

Hi, it's Neko Majin :3 If you've got something to say about my story, please review it! There's more coming up...


	3. Broken Dreams

**A/N:** I'd like to thank all the people who were nice enough to review Chapter 2 with a great big ARIGATOU GOZAIMASU! (Which is, "Thank you oh so very much" :P) And now...we shall return to the fanfic!

**Disclaimer:** I _still_ own zilch related to Fullmetal Alchemist. In case anyone forgets. :D

**Chapter Three: Broken Dreams**

_[Been walking my mind to an easy time, my back turned towards the sun  
__Lord knows when the cold wind blows it'll turn your head around  
__Well, there's hours of time on the telephone lines to talk about things to come  
__Sweet dreams and flying machines in pieces on the ground] _

I had to admit, ever since I escaped from the hospital (I thought of it as an escape, rather than as running away from it) I'd felt rebellious. Of course, riding in the passenger seat of a pickup truck next to a tattooed driver had boosted the feeling. The driver, who gave his name as "Singe," was a burly, middle-aged man with several tattoos covering his arms, plus a few on his neck. He'd offered me a ride straight to Rizenbul Village, the town I'd grown up in. "I've got ter drop off a few packages fer the Rockbells. They'd be the family that makes prosthetics from automail? Apparently, the granddaughter who works there—Minnie, I think her name is—is, like, a mechanical genius. I'd s'pose you've heard o' her, if yeh know anyone with automail prosthetics."

"Yeah," I said softly, "I've heard of the Rockbells. Though I'm pretty sure the girl's name is Winry."

"Ah, Winry, Minnie, same difference!" said Singe, shrugging his shoulders. "Anyway, if yeh know the address where the Rockbells live, yeh could direct me to there house."

"Sure thing," I mumbled. I really didn't want to think about going back to the Rockbell's house, and, for a while, pondered the excuse I'd give when we arrived at the house and no one was there. I blankly stared out the windshield of the truck, watching the sun dipping into the west. It would be dark in a couple of hours, and I'd have to spend the night at the house. Before I'd left the hospital, I pocketed the house key Granny Pinako had given me, for the times when Ed and I went out to pay her and Winry a visit. I turned it over in my hands, half-wondering if I should destroy it like _Niisan _did to our old house...

"Hey, kid, is this the Rockbell house?" I looked up. Sure enough, we had pulled up in front of the low-slung farmhouse I'd been to so many times before.

"Yeah, that's it," I said, with a nod.

"Don't look like nobody's there," Singe speculated, looking at the vacant yard, where normally the Rockbells had some of their farm animals out.

"I guess you could leave the packages in the barn behind the house," I offered. "Not that many people come around in these parts; shippers always leave the automail parts in that barn. Plus, I'll be around and I'll make sure no one comes and takes anything."

"Alrigh', then, that's what I'll do with them," he said. We unloaded the packages into the barn. Before Singe went back in his truck, I thanked him for driving me out to Rizenbul. "No problem," he said with a small smile. Then he got in his truck and was gone.

For a few minutes, I just stood in the yard by the barn, staring out into the sunset. I'd have to work quickly before the sun set, and it got too dark. I wandered towards the Rockbell's flower garden, and picked a handful of choice flowers. I didn't want to go empty-handed. I walked down the main road, picking wildflowers as I went. My feet knew the path, and as I walked down the road, I could picture Ed and me walking along this same path other times. It led to the cemetery where our mother was buried. _I guess this is where Niisan's funeral will be,_ I thought with a pang of sadness. I reached Mother's grave quickly. With my hands, I dusted off her tombstone, and laid down some of the flowers I'd picked.

"Well, _Okaasan_, I guess Ed will finally be able to see your smile again," I said quietly. Tears came back to my eyes, but I brushed them away quickly. "Please take care of him." I had other things I wanted to say, but it was painful for me to say what was on my mind. I wanted to tell her how Ed and I had cared for each other for the last seven years, how _Niisan_ had been the best older brother he could be. Inside, I knew she knew these things already. I turned and left the cemetery, and continued to walk down the road.

The sunset had painted the sky crimson and yellow. I hurried on, determined to find the burned lot where our house had stood before it grew any darker. It was not far from the cemetery, only a short walk. It was on a small hill, and as I looked up, I could see it in the distance. I broke into a run, the setting sun on my back. As I neared it, I could see that amid the charred pieces of wood a few flowers had begun to poke out of the ground. Still, there was a dim outline of the foundation of the house, and I walked around it until I had located the back of the house. Twenty paces away from it, marked with only a stone, was the grave where the homunculus Ed failed to properly transmute—it would have been our mother, had everything worked out—was buried. That time, _Niisan _and I had failed to transmute a person, but had kept our lives. This time, while the alchemy had succeeded, Ed had lost his life in the process.

"Ed couldn't transmute you completely, could he?" I asked the grave. "But in the end, we were both alive—me, a little worse for the wear, grant it, but we were both alive." I paused, and then continued: "I think when he failed to transmute you, he got scared that his knowledge of alchemy wasn't as complete as he wanted it to be. He asked me once, you know, if I blamed him for being bonded to a suit of armor. I was glad to be alive," I admitted, with a short laugh, "and of course I couldn't blame him for anything. But I think the experience weighed on him. And this time, when he tried to restore my body and rectify his mistakes, he must have sensed something would go wrong. He didn't want me to turn out like...you." I gestured to the grave. My eyes were getting moist again, and I felt the aching in the back of my head return.

I slumped to the ground. "I hate you!" I yelled. "I hate that we considered doing something we couldn't do!" I wanted to die and be with my mother and _Niisan_. "I hate you..." I sobbed, "and I hate myself because of that." It was getting darker, but I didn't care. I let the night wash over me, and let my tears flow freely. And then, out of nowhere, I heard a voice...Winry's...

"Alphonse-kun, it's alright," she said gently. "I think we all feel that way...sometimes..." Her arms embraced me, and I allowed her to give me a tight hug.

Hi, it's Neko Majin again! I just want to say thanks to all who reviewed "Fire and Rain" so far, your comments have really helped me in the writing of this chapter. I promise that the final fourth chapter will come out very soon, as soon as I get the chance to write down all my great thoughts and ideas! 


	4. Broken Memories

**A/N:** Welcome to the final chapter of "Fire and Rain"! It took me a little longer than usual to write this chapter, I apologize for not posting sooner --'. Once again, I'd like to thank everyone who's reviewed "Fire and Rain," since your comments have really helped me develop my story. As a side note to all Edward fans, I promise my next FMA fanfic will include him, and he WILL be alive ;)

**Disclaimer:** I don't have nowt related to FMA. I want an SD Ed plushie, though :D

**Chapter Four: Broken Memories**

**  
**_--Oh, I've seen fire, and I've seen rain  
__I've seen sunny days that I thought would never end  
__I've seen lonely times when I could not find a friend  
__But I always thought that I'd see you, brother, one more time again, now--_

The clock had just struck two, but I was still awake. I felt I would never be able to sleep soundly again, and as much as I wanted to fall asleep, I couldn't. Tomorrow, Winry had told me as we walked home, would be the funeral. I'd asked her bluntly how you could give a funeral for someone who'd "lost his body." She explained that while Ed had donated his body and soul to the transmutation, his automail prosthetics were rejected. Those few "pieces" of _Niisan_ had survived.

Knowing this made me feel worse. Now there were tangible pieces of my brother, which had survived him. I felt like crying, but somehow I couldn't do that, either. _I don't know why Ed bothered to restore my body_, I thought glumly. _Without him around, I feel useless_. I sighed loudly, wishing I had one of my pet cats with me. Back when I'd had a suit of armor as my body, I used to take in strays and let them sleep inside me. It felt a little weird, but it was nice to know that I could provide shelter to them. Plus, I've always loved cats.

I closed my eyes tightly and tried to fall asleep again. It was no use; I couldn't fall asleep when my mind was clouded with thoughts. Frustrated, I threw my sheets off of the bed and turned over yet again. I just lay on my side for a while, staring at the wall opposite my bed until my eyes ached and I had to close them. _Maybe...maybe I'll be able to get a little sleep..._

My eyes opened. I was standing in a small room, with books covering the walls. In the center of the room, more books were strewn over the floor. It looked familiar to me, like a place I'd seen before, a long time ago. I picked up one decrepit-looking book which had been thrown down on the floor. It contained the basic alchemical formula for creating a small toy. I smiled sadly. Ed and I used to make toys not unlike the one shown in the book for _Okaasan_. I thumbed through the pages, remembering the first time I had done alchemy, how _Niisan_ had encouraged me and helped me along the way. He always wanted me to do my best and be happy...

Suddenly, I realized that the room I was in was almost exactly like the study in my house.My eyes felt moist and threw the book to the ground. _I'll never be able to do alchemy ever again,_ I sobbed. _It killed my brother...Ed died because of alchemy! _I felt tear tricking down my chin, but I didn't bother to wipe them. If I was dreaming, I wished I'd never dream again.

"You can't be serious about never dreaming again."

I brushed the tears off my face on the back of my hand and looked up. "Ed?" I asked to the air. "Was...was that...you?"

"Well, yeah. Can we talk?"

I felt the corners of my mouth turn up slightly. Even beyond the grave _Niisan _was businesslike. "About what? Is _Kaasan_ with you?" I added hopefully.

Ed spoke again, and there was a smile in his voice. "Yeah, she's with me. But then again, she's always been with me, and she's always been with you, too."

I grunted. "Is this another speech about how even though Mom is dead, 'her spirit lives on' in me? I'm tired of hearing that crap!"

"Al, please calm down. I know you don't believe it, but neither did I at first. I remember thinking, 'What's the use of living if the person who loved me the most isn't alive?' That was right after _Okaasan_ died. But, you know, after a while it made sense to me. Think about it: Mom loved you and me, and she passed that love to us both." I looked to the ground, hoping Ed would shut up, but his voice continued. "Don't get angry at me for restoring your body, Al. I know others tell you I gave up my life because the Philosopher's Stone was false, and that much is true. But there's another side to the story, and that's the part only I know about."

"Which would be...?" I questioned

I could almost hear Ed smile. "Remember _the Truth?_ The time you lost your body and I lost my arm and leg, we were both allowed a look at the true knowledge of good and evil. This time, though, as the transmutation was taking place, I could actually _see_ a possible failure." Ed paused for a moment, and then began again. "It was as though I was looking through a window, and through it I saw what _might_ have been if I had let the transmutation work on its own. The end result, Al, was your soul being ripped away...you would have ceased to exist had I not acted. I wanted you to live your life, even if it meant possibly sacrificing my own. I guess that's brotherly love for you," he added.

"I...I had no idea," I stuttered. I felt confusion rising in me, but then, just as suddenly, it began to ebb away. I felt calm and tranquil, as I hadn't felt for a very long time. But a new thought entered my mind. Ed had become strangely silent. "Ed...is it time for you to go?" He didn't answer. Instead, he began to slowly drift away from me. "Ed, are you there?" I yelled, panic-stricken. "_Oniisan!_" I cried.

Suddenly, I was in my bed again. The bedroom was dark, and I was alone again. But what was the ball of light floating inches away from my bed? My eyes grew wide. "_Niisan?_" I asked. The ball of light began to fade away as I said those words, but as it flickered out, it was as though Ed had spoken to me. _Peace, little brother. Remember that I love you. Please live your life to the fullest. I want you to be happy...I love you..._

* * *

Edward Elric. At the age of 12, he showed himself to be skilled in alchemy and became a State Alchemist, one of the military's elite. He didn't join the army for glory or power, but so that he might be able to make a difference in the lives of those important to him. Few knew the real reason behind his automail arm and leg, and even fewer knew the truth about his "armor-wearing" brother, Alphonse. While Ed told others he'd been injured in "an uprising in the Eastern area," his wounds were from a different war. His father left his family when he was young, leaving his mother Trisha to raise two boys on her own. At eleven, his mother died, leaving the brothers as orphans. They knew enough about alchemy to know that it wasn't impossible to recreate a human life, and began planning for the day when they would resurrect their mother from the dead. The transmutation was a failure. Ed's losses could be replaced with mechanical prosthetics, but Al lost his entire body, save his soul, which was bonded to a suit of armor. 

Years passed, and the brothers grew older. They received fame wherever they went, but in Edward's eyes, their happiness was incomplete. Doubtless, he blamed himself for reducing his brother to a talking suit of armor; once he asked his brother if he blamed him for anything. Alphonse was just grateful to be alive, but Ed cared about his happiness. He wanted his brother to live a normal life; he'd promised this to him from the day he transmuted his soul. Ed didn't make promises lightly; especially with those he loved the most. He spent his life searching for the Philosopher's Stone, a miraculous elixir. It was revered for being able to create "something out of nothing," defying the laws of science. Legend said it could be used to transmute lead into gold, explain the meaning of life...and, Ed reasoned, restore the body of a young boy. It was elusive, doubtless, but Ed didn't care.

Then, one day not too long ago, the young alchemist's life was filled with joy. By a stroke of luck, he found a Philosopher's Stone, taken from the ruins of a house belonging to some ancient alchemist. Ed knew the formula for transmuting a human body, and set to work immediately in the hope of restoring his younger brother's body. As the transmutation occurred, though something strange began to happen. The stone began to disintegrate, right before Ed's eyes. With a new realization he saw that the stone was false. He could see the possible outcome of the transmutation if he did not act soon: his brother's soul would be lost forever. Then Ed made the ultimate sacrifice: he added his body into the equation, and lost his life in the process.

"I am Alphonse Elric," I read as I neared the end of the eulogy I held. I had written it only this morning, to be read at the burial ceremony. "I am Ed's younger brother, and this is my restored body. His death has left me, as it has left all of us here, saddened. But I've realized something now. Even if Ed's gone, his ideas, his being, his love and concern for each of us—they'll live on forever. He saved me from death twice...and I thank him for that every day."

As we walk away from the freshly-laid grave, I whispered to the wind, "So long, old pal."

_--Thought I'd see you one more time again  
There's just a few things coming my way this time around, now  
Thought I'd see you, thought I'd see you fire and rain, now--  
James Taylor, "Fire and Rain"_

**FIN**

**A/N:** Thanks for reading my fanfic, please review if you liked it!

3 Neko Majin


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